Book #17: My Boring-Ass Life

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There comes a point in every 30-something male's life when he must ask the question: "How much Kevin Smith is TOO MUCH Kevin Smith?"

After reading My Boring-Ass Life, the 400+ page almost daily journal of writer/director Kevin Smith's well, life, I have come to the following conclusion:

This almost puts it over the top.

Praise indeed, when you consider the Smith-Time I've invested in since seeing a small film called CLERKS at a small independent theater in Colonie, NY back in 1994.  I was there in the very, very beginning, and I was there in the theater for each subsequent film: from MALLRATS to CHASING AMY to DOGMA to JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK to (yes) JERSEY GIRL and finally to CLERKS 2.  I subscribe to Smith's weekly audio podcast Smodcast, and I own all of his DVDs (yes, even JERSEY GIRL).  I read the comics, saw the appearances on DeGrassi High, and even got into Morris Day and the Time.  So you would think I would be the perfect candidate for this, a play by play of Smith's life at work and play.

The book explores every boring-ass detail of Smith's life - including sex with the wife (frequency, satisfaction levels), bowel movements (frequency, satisfaction levels), eating (frequency, satisfaction levels)...you get the idea.  Here are a few things I learned reading My Boring-Ass Life:

  1. Smith eats out.  A LOT.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner...this guy is keeping the L.A. food scene alive and thriving.
  2. Smith watches television.  A LOT.  Mostly Tivo, but there's a lot of DVD box sets, too.
  3. Smith has sex with his wife.  A LOT.  Really, enough said on that point.

That's about 85% of what I learned reading My Boring-Ass Life.  But here's the interesting thing about the book: what I also learned is that through all this seemingly monotonous repetition, in between the minutia of his everyday life, Smith is a loving husband and father, capable of wringing out genuine emotion - just when you think you're about to drown in another paragraph detailing watching The Simpsons before falling asleep, Smith whips out a beautiful extended piece about friendship and drug addiction, or about the trials and tribulations of being a father and husband, and just trying to accept being the person you are.

Granted, you have to wade through A LOT of his boring-ass life to get to it, but it's not like Kevin Smith didn't warn you right up front, right?  In the end I was really comforted by My Boring-Ass Life; reading it feels like checking in with an old friend, and seeing that he's just trying to have a quiet moment of solitude on the crapper before the dogs go crazy and wake the whole house.

Just like you or me.  Good stuff.