Miscellany at 8:51 AM, the Office

It's telling that the only times I can manage to get any time on this blog is when I'm in the office, early before my boss gets in. Couple random thoughts and items to pass on:

• Tomorrow night the Missus and I get our first official night out on the town not involving a family function. We're heading into NYC to check out Tegan & Sara at (I believe) Webster Hall, with Indie Maven Sean in tow (who graciously thought to pick us up tickets). If you've never heard Tegan & Sara before, you're missing out on fresh, in-your-face folk/pop/rock from two sisters who consistently deliver a great sound, thoughtful lyrics, and melodies that stick in your brain for days afterward. When Sean began his mission to introduce me to the world of pop and indie music by way of inundating me with dozens of records at once, Tegan & Sara was the first thing I heard that made me jump up and say "What the $#@! have I been missing?" So Jealous is a desert island disc for me, and their new one, The Con, is fast rising in my estimation.
• Speaking of music, while listening to a random mix on the iPod Radiohead came on and reminded me that, no matter what flavor or mood I'm currently in, Radiohead will overpower it, forcing me to listen to The Bends or OK Computer in its entirety immediately.
• I don't know if I mentioned it on this blog (I commented on the always interesting to read Cubicle Reverend blog) that I finally saw my first movie in the theater since the baby was born. TRANSFORMERS. Geek Gold, my friends, Geek Gold.
• In sadder films news, Igmar Bergman passed away. If you've never seen one of his films before, or even you have but it's been a while, go check one out. He was a true master, and for years after seeing THE SEVENTH SEAL, WILD STRAWBERRIES, HOUR OF THE WOLF and PERSONA at an early age, I always had an impression in my mind of something I called the "Bergman Color" which was almost, but not quite Black & White. It didn't matter what tonal palette he used - all his films have a distinct ,dreamy quality to them that remind me of something being almost, but not quite, B&W. A true artist throughout his entire career, his presence will be missed.

For the Record...

YES: I am finishing the reviews of Episodes I-III of STAR WARS.

Episode II is already written; the hold-up is finding the time to get all the screen captures I need. Besides the ongoing storm that is being a parent I'm coordinating two national system roll outs for my company simultaneously, which wouldn't be as hard if my boss hadn't decided to take a 2 1/2 week vacation right smack dab in the middle of it. So I'm back and forth to Phoenix a few times over the next couple weeks, then Baton Rouge, LA and Houston, TX before coming home for a week and then going back out to Austin and then Seattle.

YES: I did buy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.

But I didn't stand on line at midnight on Friday - I walked into a store like a normal person on Saturday afternoon where there were no lines and thousands of copies left. I got half off the book a and a free poster. The Missus always reads the book first, so while I'm away she's re-reading Book 6 and then plunging into Book 7. I have a stack of about 15 books I'm dying to get to before Deathly Hollows, so unless I find it impossible to close my ears to all the talk (which may be likely), I don't intend to read it for a least a month or two.

NO: I STILL haven't finished a mix tape for Sean to critique.

This is purely my bad. I'm lazy and every time I begin to make one, I can;t agree on a unifying theme or sequence. Plus, I'm trying hard to choose songs I think he'll like AND that he doesn't already know. I have a plan now and should have something ready soon, and the hope is to make it available to download for any of you who would like it for yourselves. I personally guarantee everyone will enjoy at least 2 songs!

YES: I finally found an independent music store that specializes in Metal.

And it's not even in Manhattan! It's smack in the middle of Long Island, only a mile or so down the road from my house, and will most likely be the bane of my wallet and ears in due time. It called Slipped Disc Records, and they have an enormous Iron Maiden poster in the window. I found an import of the new Akercocke record and the re-issue of DBC's Universe, which I listened to nonstop almost 20 years ago and thought was gone from my life forever. There's documentary (believe it or not) about the store on You Tube you can watch here.

NO: I would think the answer to that is obvious.

That why my hands are always shaking.

Childhood Revisted @ 10:37 PM ET

Driving home after a wedding out East on the Island.

Rain. Traffic.

Back roads are opted for.

In the headlights a rabbit scampers across the road.

HUSBAND: Did you see that?
WIFE: Yeah.
HUSBAND: Know why he suddenly ran across the road?
WIFE: Why?
HUSBAND: He was stapled to the chicken!
WIFE: ....
HUSBAND: Honey?
WIFE: ...I can't believe I fell for that.

And the unvierse slowly re-aligns itself, and continues on as before. All is right in the world.

Ennui Monster

Although the weather's taken an upswing from the oppressive humidity of the past few days, it still feels like there's an extra 20 pounds of mist and drizzle covering my head. I've been fighting a cold the past week, taking anti-viral pills and a program of antibiotics in case it was strep throat so that Jack wouldn't get sick. I don't know if I succeeded: lately he's been very cranky, screaming as soon as he wakes up and wanting to be held every second of the day. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, and as bad as it affects me, the Missus is suffering to the nth power.

As much as you see or hear about it, postpartum depression is striking how devastatingly it wraps its wings around someone. Constant tears and feelings of helplessness, of feeling like you're a horrible mother, that you're somehow hurting your child even though he appears to be perfectly normal in every respect. How do you counter that? I've been trying different approaches at different times, attempting to take some of the chores off her hands, doing all the feedings on the weekends so she can get some uninterrupted sleep, and trying to put things in perspective for her.

Sometimes it works for a while, sometimes it doesn't.

This weekend we're going to a wedding out on the Island; I'm hoping the time away can be spent dancing, laughing and generally having fun, anything to take her mind off things for a bit. We haven't been able to find any type of rhythm for ourselves: every moment for her is spent either taking care of him or, when he's asleep, taking care of things around the house. No time for just taking a nap, reading a book, enjoying the summer weather. And there's the conundrum. It's not so getting her some free time, it's making her do something for herself with it.

A few days ago Jack managed to stay asleep long enough for the two of us to share some snacks and watch THE TIGER AND THE SNOW, the latest romantic dramady from Roberto Begnini. The movie was okay, but the time spent laughing, rubbing her feet and watching her smile and laugh and we talked and chatted while the film played was wonderful.

Over the past year it feels like everything I've held about myself has undergone a wicked tilt and spin. It's terrifying to be firmly confronted with the visage of "normal" adulthood, and the loss of the feeling that you're no longer a young "guy" but more often than not a "Mister" to everyone around you (who seem younger and younger , while the people you always considered as "adults" now seem like your peers). I don't even know if that makes sense. I just know that right now much of what I've always thought of myself is changing, and will continue to change until I feel satisfied everything is going to hold together, and that both my wife and son rest knowing that this family isn't just going to stay together (which is a given) but will be cemented by the bonds we've always held as out standard: love, peace, and happiness.

We keep swimming, not content to merely tread water.

* I know the title of the post makes no sense. This was originally going to be about me and how I've just felt tired and bored lately. Obviously it truned into something else.

** I still haven't explained the title. It was a combination of two song off the self-titled record by The Mistakes, featuring Mike Keneally on guitar and vocal, and which have been playing in my head all morning. So there.

BOTM for June

No surprise considering the last couple of posts, but by sheer dint of it's geekitude (is that a word) and due to the fact that it was given to me as a complete surprise for my birthday from my moms, the BOTM for June was The Making of Star Wars: The Definitive Sory Behind the Original Film. Anyone who's a fan of the franchise needs this book. Anyone who thinks they already know everything there is to know about the making fo the film needs this book. Anyone intersted in getting a sense of how much it takes to convert an idea into something that is one of the biggest blockbusters of all time, and a towering beacon of childhood for fans the world over needs this book.

So what's the big deal about the book? Well, the main thing that the majority of interviews and discussions have never been used before, and are taken from conversations as early as 5 years before filming commenced. Each version of the draft is explained and summarized, and items that eventaully became a part of the finished script as tracked through each draft. You get a great perspective of Lucas's scope and vision, and the interviews with such luminaries as John Barry and John Dykstra provide tons of revealing details into how a project this large became a reality.

And as great as the text is, the hundreds of storyboards, concept drawings, and photographs of the construction, set design, and location scouting only surpass an already excellent record of events. Make no mistake - the word "definitive" is in the title of this book for a reason - it's the last word on the making of an epic movie experience.

Elsewhere in the reading universe:

• Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler - the late, great author's final book was self-described as a bit of a lark, somethint fun she wasnted to write, but this deceptive story about Shori, a supposedly 10 year old girl who is in reality a 53 year old vampire, or ina as they're called in the novel, is full of Butler's trademark reflections on sexuality, race, and what it means to be human. Fledgling begins as what would appear to be a simple re-tread of the vampire genre but rises above the usual cliches and plot points as a lot of detail is explored into the symbiotic relationship between the inas and the rest of humanity. A loving, humane novel that asks the question what does it mean to be human? Great read, and if I were doing splitting the BOTM into Fiction and Nonfiction this would have been chosen.
• The Stolen Child by Keith Donahue - a solid debut novel that takes a modern look at the fairy tale of hobgoblins, also known as changelings, who switch places with real chidren, who in turn become chagelings themselves, living a hard existence until the day they can go back into the world by stealing a child themselves. The Stolen CHild takes the novel (bad pun) approach of alternating chapters between the young child Henry Day, who is abducted and enters the world of the changelings, and the hobgoblin who takes his place as a young boy. Both sides are fresh and interesting, and if the end feels a little unsatisfying the trip is worth it.