Machete (2010)

My life-long question of "what would a movie based on a fake trailer made for another movie look like" has finally been answered.

Now to think about whether I actually needed the question answered.

MACHETE takes the faux trailer constructed by Robert Rodriguez for 2007's GRINDHOUSE and attempts to wrap the gritty, larger-than-life sequences into an action-packed story that would fit right in as a third feature with PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF.  Co-directed by Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, Rodriguez's editor on the original GRINDHOUSE, MACHETE stars Danny Trejo as Machete, ex-Federale turned day laborer turned assassin for hire turned freedom fighter turned mythological figure.  I could make an off-color and cliché joke about Mexicans and the number of jobs they have*, but MACHETE does that for us, making some deft points about our current attitudes toward immigration and citizenship without falling out of the rigid framework of a 70s exploitation flick.  When you strip away the sex and violence that sold both the trailer and the film, it's these small pieces - a group of minor henchmen commenting on the hypocrisy of allowing immigrants into our homes but not into our country, two dishwashers in a restaurant sharing a light, comic moment over errors in each others native language, the tongue-in-cheek rallying speech at the Home Depot (although you could argue whether this scene is played intentionally bad or is merely the result of Jessica's Alba's acting chops - I prefer to think it's intentional) - that stay with me as the strongest pieces of MACHETE, and serve to elevate the film over its more humble origins.

But that's not what we're come to the theater to see, and Rodriguez knows it.  We're here to see Danny Trejo, possibly the most interesting looking man in movies today, kill a large number of people with a machete, and that's what we get.  Jeff Fahey plays senatorial aide Booth, who hires Machete after watching him in a back alley fight to assassinate Senator McLaughlin, a racist good ol' boy whose zero tolerance policies, Booth says, are wrecking not only the lives of immigrants but the Texas economy.  Of course it's really a set-up, designed to make the senator an almost-martyr, thus guaranteeing him the election and the sway to put his anti-immigration laws into effect.  They only made one mistake:

They should have made sure he was dead.

Since they didn't, the rest of MACHETE is filled with Trejo wielding a variety of weapons, including a machete the size of a man's leg, and basically killing everyone he can - when he's not getting shot, stabbed, or jumping off of buildings.  Or having sex - with Booth's wife and daughter in a scene taken straight from the trailer; with She, the leader of the Network (played by Michele Rodriguez, looking hotter than she ever has and making up for everything she did in Lost), and almost with Jessica Alba, except that Machete's too much of a good guy for that, except he's really not since we literally just saw him screw two girls at once 15 minutes ago.  The violence is over the top if a little too reliant on CGI, and everyone in the film dive into their roles with a good old fashioned relish - Stephen Seagal has never been more ridiculous, and looks like he's having more fun in a film than he has in years.  Jeff Fahey probably comes off best, and really should be getting more and more work after this and all his scene stealing in Lost, but the treat and the shame of MACHETE is in Danny Trejo's performance.  Having to carry an entire film on his shoulders is a heavy load, and I'm hesitant to say Trejo's not up to the task, because most of what he has to do is stitch together scenes in order to get to the money shots from the faux trailer.

And that's my biggest qualm with MACHETE as a full-length movie: it's entertaining in spots, and does what it sets out to do, which is to give you the movie that was promised in the trailer, but feels constrained by having to hit each of those points.  When the film stretches out a bit as mentioned above, and gives us those glimpses into to the bigger issues the film wants to address, it makes for a more exciting and fun film.  And while I enjoyed MACHETE, if I really want to get my kicks from schlock 70s cinema, I'd probably go back and watch PIRAHNA 3D a second time.

* I really struggled over whether or not to leave that joke in - my decision to keep it in was based on my belief (perhaps misguided) that it was keeping in the spirit of the best parts of the film for me - those brief scenes that address our perceptions of immigrants and their place in our country.  I sincerely apologize to any who might read it and be offended - offense was certainly not my intent.

Looking Back While Looking Forward...

...to Hail Horror 5.

In a few short weeks the sky will once again fold in upon itself.  The air will bite, the leaves will color and die, and the sun will lose a little more of its breath each day to the moon, perpetually bloated and full in anticipation of what is now, after four years without fail, an Autumn blood ritual.

Yup, it's HAIL HORROR: YEAR 5.  For the fifth time in as many years I will be devoting the month of October to visiting and, in some cases, revisiting, that most visceral of film genres, horror.  In what has become Hail Horror tradition I'll fail to review even half of what I see or even plan to see, but the joy is in the planning, so in the end it all shakes out.

This year feels more that a little bittersweet.  Last year a few days before I was set to officially begin reviewing I received the call that my father had suffered three heart attacks in the span of about 12 hours.  My relationship with my father was and is the foundation for my tastes in movies, and colors everything I see.  When I wrote about it last year I mentioned how, strangely, it was horror that comforted me during the times we waited for phone calls that could deliver anything at any moment:

...That was Monday. Now it's Wednesday, and things are the same. He flat-lined yesterday, and was resuscitated. Today they're going in to see what's going on. And I've had a little time to come to grips with what's going on, and the weird thing I found myself going to the stack of horror movies sitting on top of the television cabinet...

...Maybe the real draw of horror is that at times we're compelled to wipe away the pain and terror in our lives, and one way to do that is to expose ourselves to something even more gruesome and terrifying. Maybe it's a chance to escape, to see someone handle the unknown and unexplainable so that we can better cope with our own hurdles....

This October will mark six months since my father died, and I honestly don't know how that realization will affect what films I ultimately watch or how I ultimately approach writing about those films.  A few days ago I read a post from Mike Lippet over at You Talking to Me? about the extent to which we insert ourselves into what we write, and I realize that everything I write about contains in some form or another the totality of my existence.  Each choice of phrase springs forth from the combination of what I've seen, read, and experiences during my 38 years on this Earth.  My perception of what I watched and wrote last year could not help but be  informed by the events around my father, just as this year will be done on the shadow of his absence from my life.  This morning I have to take my three-year old son to an eye specialist, and the results of that will surely add as much to my perception of the films as will my frustrations at work, the intimate moments with my wife and family, and even the music playing at I gather and express my thoughts on this blog (currently The Very Best of Curtis Mayfield).

All of which goes a long way to say that my favorite month of the year is fast upon us, and we're never so much alive as in the moments when our screams are about to be ripped from our throats.  Rather than go over the guidelines and archives like I tend to do every year, I'll save that for another post.  I'd rather let this one stand on its own.

Hail Horror 5: Recommendations, Please!

Sure, I could do this all on my own, rifling through my DVD collection, moving items up and down in my Netflix queue, checking out the shelves at my local Best Buy...basically loading up on horror films I've been interested in checking out for whatever reason.

But where's the fun in that?  I know I'll eventually get around to those films in due time.  No, what's really great about doing the Hail Horror thing every year are the great recommendations I get from you all out there in Virtual Land, turning me on to things I wouldn't have given a second glance to.  Without your recommendations I would never have seen the twisted wonder that is Donald Pleasance's performance in RAW MEAT (thanks to Dennis Cozzalio and SLIFR), or the phenomenal Hammer classic CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF (thanks to Tony Dayoub and Cinema Viewfinder) and even the mediocrity that was HATCHET (thanks to Sean over at Spectacular Views).

I already have a couple recommendations in, plus a few special entries to celebrate Radiator Heaven's John Carpenter Week, but all the same, if there's anything out there you think I should check out, let me know in the comments section.  As always:

1. It can't be a movie I've already reviewed.
2. It has to be readily accessible - either at the local theater, store, rental house, or Netflix. I'm not adverse to spending a few bucks to see, rent, or purchase a film, but I'm not going to shell out $49.99 for an obscure Asian bootleg with no subtitles.

For those curious, here's where we left off after the first two three four years:

TENEBRE / MR. FROST / GRACE / PHANTASM II / MARTYRS / FRIDAY THE 13TH PART II / DEAD SNOW / BAY OF BLOOD / DEADGIRL / RAW MEAT / TRICK 'R' TREAT / THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF /THE SHINING / MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN / BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA / C.H.U.D. / HATCHET / RE-CYCLE / DANCE OF THE DEAD / THE SIGNAL / KAIRO / PHENOMENA / THE HOWLING / NOSFERATU (1922) / PHANTASM / THE HAPPENING / [REC] / THE WOODS / DIARY OF THE DEAD / THE MONSTER SQUAD / FROM BEYOND / RE-VISTING PLANET TERROR / THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) / MAD LOVE / 28 WEEKS LATER / SUBLIME / RE-VISTING DEATH PROOF / NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1990) / DEAD SILENCE / SEVERANCE / RESIDENT EVIL 3: EXTINCTION / SCANNERS / THE DESCENT / GRINDHOUSE / THE EVIL DEAD / BROKEN LIZARD'S CLUB DREAD / THE MASK OF FU MANCHU / RINGU / FEAST / HALLOWEEN (1978) / HELLRAISER / A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET / DEAD AND BREAKFAST / FRIDAY THE 13TH / THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2005) / DAY OF THE DEAD / CAT PEOPLE (1942) / HOUSE OF WAX

Quick Hit: Shine a Light (2008)

It was never my intention to watch SHINE A LIGHT, Martin Scorsese's 2008 document of The Rolling Stones' show at the Beacon Theater in NYC.  But life, or more specifically Netflix Instant Streaming, has a way of throwing a wrench into the works, and so after adding STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN to my queue I saw this recommended, saw it was available for streaming, clicked the Play button and wound up laying in bed watching the whole thing.

The film opens in grainy black & white as Scorsese frantically scrambles to get everything set up despite being confronted at every turn by Mick Jagger, who doesn't like the idea of cameras getting in the way of his moves and the crowd's view of the show.  Scorsese is told that Jagger can't stand under the intense glare of the lights for more than 18 seconds without potentially "burning up", and by the tone of the guy telling him this I think this was supposed to be taken literally.  Worst of all, the set list hasn't been decided, and in a great moment an exasperated Scorsese explains he just needs to know the first song so he knows where the cameras should be for the opening shot.

In true cinematic style he gets the set list just as the band takes the stage, the camera moves and the film jumps to brilliant color as the opening riff to "Jumpin' Jack Flash" rumbles like a freight train through the affluent audience.  I make this last point because this was supposedly a benefit gig, with President Clinton both in attendance and opening the show, and the crowd seems pleased but with that polite restraint of people who just don't get out and sweat enough at a rock show.  This is no way a reflection of Jagger and Company's performance - if anything, I was impressed by how much fun they still seem to be having playing on stage every night.  Mixed among the obvious hits were a number of obscure songs and amazing guest appearances, most notably Buddy Guy who sings and solos along to "Champagne and Reefer," a down and dirty blues that features Jagger on harmonica and Guy giving the camera a hilarious killer stare that went on for so long I was cracking up long before he smiled and ripped into his guitar with a glee reserved for legends who've put their time in and know it.

Scorsese has a long and intimate history with live music, and instinctively knows where to put the camera so that you a part of the group rather the crowd.  Everything slinks and slides like the signature licks the band's been churning out for over 45 years, and SHINE A LIGHT proves to be a joyful document of a band still bringing it home long after their peers have settled down for the evening.

Of Blogathons and Film Quizzes

The past couple of weeks have been a flurry of work/life things that for various reasons I didn't feel the need to put down here.  But that doesn't mean I haven't been writing at all - in fact, I have two lengthy pieces over at Celluloid Moon, freshly baked and ready for your perusal!

First up is my contribution to Tony Dayoub and Cinema Viewfinder's David Cronenberg Blogathon.  Tony's wrangled up a great group of well-known online writers and should-be-well-known online writers to examine the films, themes, and impact of this excellent director, and my piece proposes that Cronenberg's controversial adaptation of J.G. Ballard's CRASH (1996) is the key film that bridges his earlier, genre driven films and his recent mainstream resurgence with films like A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE and EASTERN PROMISES.  You can read the original article and great comments from the community here.

Too high-fallutin' for you? Not interested in sexual fetishs and the search for orgastic euphoria in the tearing scream of metal against metal?  Looking for some great film recommendations?  Then you should definitely check out the latest Film Quiz from Dennis Cozzalio and Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule.  Each "quiz" is a chance to reflect back on our favorite films and filmmakers, and an opportunity to share moments and experiences that have affected our lives.  I've posted a number of my answers here on Geek Monkey before, and by week's ends I'll have my latest batch up as well.  In the meantime, you can find my answers here on Celluloid Moon, and you can read everyone else's fantastic answers over at the original article.

I plan on getting back to writing here on Geek Monkey soon, but the one thing I'm learning, especially with the help of the above articles, is that the best writing comes from that need to connect on some level, and right now the opportunity to connect and interact with a larger community about a subject I love is reinvigorating the spark to put fingers to keyboard again. 

So I hope wherever I am you check it out, comment, argue, but as always, engage!