Halloween Hockey

Out of the kindness of her heart, the head of my department gave me two tickets to tonight's Islanders game against the Chicago Blackhawks. I decided since the Missus was working, I would take my brother-in-law.

First stop was some chow at this little hole in the wall called American Burgers in Lynbrook. Awesome sloppy burgers - one for each state as well as numerous country representations (we both stuck the the New York burger - beef, american cheese, grilled onions and a grilled tomato). Small place, but good prices and a mouth-watering burger.

On to the game.

Pretty cool place. I had never seen an NHL game before, so even though the crowd was less than stellar, the people that did attend were gung-ho for some great ice action.

A few seconds later, the Islanders scored their first goal. I instantly become an Islander fan when I see #81 skate on the ice - his name is SATAN! I immediately go to buy a shirt.


More action. Midway through the second period the Islanders were up 3 nothing. 2 quick scores later by the Blackhawks put the game in some jeopardy, especially since there are no longer any ties in major league hockey. No worries, though - by the end New York took it, 5 to 2.

All in all a nice night. I love my brother-in-law, and we get along really well at family functions, but we don't so much 1-on-1; our tastes usually run in vastly different circles. But I knew he was a die hard Islander fan, so even though I'm not much of a sports fanatic (I love watching games live, and seeing them with groups of people - by myself I typically tuen them off after 5 minutes), I enjoyed the chance to have some fun on Halloween Night.

Where Do You Go?

Writer's Block sucks.

Asks anyone who writes for a living. Even those of us who toil away at the office writing something as mundane as a procedural manual for a profitability reporting system (isn't my life exciting) sometimes stop mid-sentence and say, "What the hell am I doing?" It's bad enough to get stuck in the middle of writing an essay, short story, script - but to have a block when all you're doing is listing the steps necessary to filter a finance report by region?

Well, that's why I have the little library shelf. Not much - usually no more than 4 or 5 books. When I get stuck on writing something, I stop and do a little perusing. The current mini-library has been the same since the beginning of summer: The Complete Stories of John Cheever, The Collected Works of Shakespeare (tiny beat-up copy I've owned since college), Walt Whitman's Complete Leaves of Grass, and the 35-year retrospective Essential Ellison (I keep the 50 year edition at home).

So this morning I was stuck, and I came across this poem from Walt Whitman:

When I Read the Book

When I read the book, the biography famous,
And is this then (said I) what the author calls a man's life?
And so will some one when I am dead and gone write my life?
(As if any man really knew aught of my life,
Why even I myself I often think know little or nothing of my real life,
Only a few hints, a few diffused faint clews and indirections
I seek for my own use to trace out here.)

And if that doesn't sum up why I write in this thing, I don't know what does.

Broken Lizard's Club Dread (2004)

I know a lot of people that swear by the comedy of Broken Lizard. And man, I tried watching SUPER TROOPERS. Saw it twice so far, and while I think it's funny, I wasn't ready to proclaim them the next coming or anything. In this I know I differ with a lot of people.

I also know I'm going to differ with those same people for another reason: I loved CLUB DREAD, and find it in leaps and bounds the better film.

I think the reason it works (certainly much better than FEAST) is because, instead of taking a horror film and trying to make it funny, they took a comedy and made it horrific. And by "horrific" I mean "as scary as your typical FRIDAY THE 13TH film" which was the point, even nodding to the film in question in a hilarious boat scene.

Vacationers travelling to Pleasure Island are coming for two things: getting drunk and getting laid. And that exactly what Coconut Pete (Bill Paxton) and his staff are there to provide - it's Heaven if Heaven was run by the dude who puts out those Girls Gone Wild videos. Unfortunately, the wacky staff (played by the Broken Lizard troop) pissed somebody off with their antics, because now they're slowly being murdered one by one. Is it the crazy obsessive gymnast? The put-upon nephew of Coconut Pete? Or the new masseuse, fresh off the boat and with secrets of his own?

The movie benefits from a few things - as always the chemistry between the cast is great. Roles are reversed from the earlier SUPER TROOPERS, with director Jay Chandrasekhar this time playing the prick-ish Putnam, and scene stealer Kevin Heffernan taking the heroic lead. The majority of the comedy is character-driven, playing to everyone's advantage. And the troop brings enough great lines so that the rest of cast isn't left behind as window dressing, though they of course save the best for themselves. I will forever attempt to use the line "Who else knew he was uncircumcised, and smelled of oranges?"

As for the scares, they're firmly rooted in the slasher pics of the early 80's, but instead of playing the horror off for laughs, Chandrasekhar wisely plays them straight most of the time. The blood and gore is realistic and frightening, even when it's spurting from a man dressed as a pear:

Please, someone put together a version of Pac-Man like this NOW, please!

You really have no idea who the killer is, and there's no reason to try and guess in CLUB DREAD. The focus here is purely on the laughs; any screams or jumps are free of charge. Perfectly fun movie, and I'm convinced I have to check out SUPER TROOPERS again.

The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932)

For casual moviegoers living in a world of 200 million dollar blockbusters, IMAX 3-D theaters, entire movies animated by computers, even films from just 30 years ago may be hard to accept, let alone movies from 60 and 70 years ago. The need to suspend disbelief is greater for these films; you're not just accepting what fantastic elements may appear, you have to accept the patter of language, the play of shadow and light in the various black and white worlds the movies inhabit. Without this suspension, this willingness to allow yourself to become engrossed in the flicker of a bye gone era, you only see the scratches in the film, the painted backdrops, the zipper in the costume.

But let yourself fall into the rhythms of this celluloid world, and you see something else entirely.

I grew up with this mentality. Many of my earliest memories (outlined here in a previous post) center around watching movies with my father, who came to America when he was a child and devoured the films of Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, Errol Flynn. Watching those films with me was a way for him to remember one of the few joys of his childhood (growing up a German immigrant only 10 years after WWII wasn't the easiest thing to do). And maybe part of the love I have for watching older movies is the memory it brings of my own childhood, laying down with my head crooked in his elbow as we were both dazzled by what played on the television.

So it's an early Sunday morning in late October 2006. I pop in THE MASK OF FU MANCHU, curl up with the coffee I picked up at 7-11, and promptly fall back 30 years.

FU MANCHU is really more action than horror; think of it as a precursor to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. The British government hires a group of adventurers in a race against time to recover the lost tomb of Genghis Khan. The rush? It's also being sought by the fiendish Fu Manchu, deliciously played by Boris Karloff. Fu Manchu believes that by obtaining the relics found inside the tomb, namely the Golden Mask, he will become the reincarnation of Khan and be able to rally the Asian countries behind him in a bid for world domination.

The more I see of Boris Karloff, the more I appreciate just how brilliant an actor he was. It doesn't matter how much make-up is caked on, how bad the dialog is: once he appears on screen you are completely riveted. And his first appearance in FU MANCHU is a doozy: a close-up of him in full Asian makeup, in his lab. A distorted mirror immediately to his left twists and amplifies his face, displaying his dual nature as genius scholar and mad torturer. Both sides of his personality appear early on - upon capturing the heroine's father he reminds him that he should be addressed as "Doctor" after listing his educational background. The torture of this same man later further shows his mad brilliance: the father is strapped under a large bell that constantly chimes; when thirsty, Fu Manchu brings him water, but it's filled with salt.

And if you think Karloff is evil as Fu Manchu, wait until you see a young Myrna Loy (later to be Nora Charles in the excellent THIN MAN series) as his diabolical daughter. Watch the look on her face as she screams "Faster! FASTER!!" as her servants whip the young hero, who has been captured after being tricked into delivering the sword and mask into Manchu's hands. For a glimpse of the makeup used to transform Loy into her character, see below:

Mummy attacks, evil laboratories, exotic locations and ancient artifacts - everything here for a great time. FU MANCHU may be suffer slightly for falling under the shadow of Karloff's other horror movie to come out the same year (some obscure film called FRANKENSTEIN), but there's a lot of fun and whimsy on display here, even if it's more an adventure film that an outright horror film.

But none of that really mattered to me. Because while the movie played its lights across the room, I was 7 years old again, curled up with my dad again, enchanted as I always was, and probably always will be.