Still Life

Written in the back row while auditing a training session for the second day in a row...

If it had been a snapshot, it would have been reminiscent of that M.C. Escher print, the one where two hands draw each other into existence. Off to the side was a bottle of soda, label peeled and three-quarters empty. Of course, there was only one pen, one of those new mechanical ones at that. But as he looked down at the cold and harsh pad in front of him, the impression of the surreal was hard to deny. It helped that he had been staring transfixed at the same spot - dead center between the tip of his left index finger and the point of the pencil in his right hand - paralyzed in anticipation of the first word - for over 6 minutes. Enough time to be cognizant of the slight shudder in his right wrist. Enough time to be aware of every breath he was taking, the length of time drawing air in, the sound of each exhalation. He shuddered, he breathed.

And still not a word would come out.

A Dearth of Personal Musings and Life on Mars

Events and circumstances occurring in the 300-watt world we call reality (the stuff that happens outside the Internet) have caused me to rethink the way my life has been heading. For months I've noticed that I haven't been happy or content with things as they are. What makes it worse is that with that knowledge comes the realization that I'm the reason things aren't particularly happy or content in my world. What makes it even worse than that is that others around me are beginning to notice as well.

Late in the afternoon on Saturday I was sitting alone in what we've designated "the Man Room" - the room where all my books, CDs, guitars and computer reside. My wife walked in, curled up in my lap, and proceeded to point out to me in the way only a partner whose life you intimately share can that I was unhappy, that it was affecting my work, affecting my health, and affecting our relationship to the point where she had no choice but to sit me down and tell me how much it hurt her to see me like that, and how scared she was that something would happen to me if I didn't do something soon.

There are things we know deep inside, but will never admit to ourselves. It takes someone who loves you so much that they are willing to hurt you, and hurt themselves in the process, in order to help you. That's exactly what she did, and the result was a floodgate of feelings and anger that had been locked up for months opening and pouring out.

Here's what sucks: like any flood, you're completely overwhelmed when it strikes you. But like any flood, eventually the waters subside and if you're strong enough, or lucky enough, or have someone to pull you up, you find that the water dries, and you're alive. Which is probably a long-winded way of saying that while I look at taking care of myself and my family, things here may be a little more sporadic, and a little less personal. For those people who have commented that they prefer all the review-oriented stuff as opposed to my "real-life" writing, you're in luck.

You're also all cocksuckers, but you're in luck (just kidding, XOXOX).

In other news, pictures taken of the planet Mars four years ago have recently revealed what appears to be Bigfoot. A number of sites are reporting on this, but I picked it up from the excellent The House Next Door:

Call me a skeptic...I firmly believe that in a universe as large as ours there has to be life somewhere besides Earth, but this looks like a weird twisty rock formation.

Or Waylon Jennings. Could be either.

Book #3: Ringworld

The promise of a ship capable of traveling a light year in 1.25 minutes lures 2 humans and a tiger-ish alien known as a Kzin out into the unknown reaches of space to investigate something never before seen: a massive alien ring encircling a sun. This "ringworld" has a diamter equal to Earth's orbit around the Sun and has the surface area equivalent to 3 million times the size of our planet. Why it's there, what happened to it, and who lives on it are just a few of the questions 200-year old protagonist Louis Wu has to discover if he's ever to escape after their ship crashes on it.

Ringworld won the 1970 Hugo and Nebula awards for Best Novel, and as much as it's known for the detailed mechanics and hard science that make up the ring itself, the novel is more concerned with the questions that have served countless novels and college philosophy classes for ages: what role does Man play in the universe - the universe at large and the universe that is his immediate surroundings? What is his relationship to God? To Fate? And ultimately what determines our destiny? Each character in the novel have their own reasons for making the journey, and as motivations and hidden agendas are unearthed, the struggle to work together in order to escape become more difficult and dangerous.

And I think that might be one of the reasons I was left flat by the book. At different times it was enamored of the "hard" science fiction aspects, at other times the psychology of its characters, but at no time was the mystery of the alien world that draws them there ever fleshed out enough to make their predicament interesting. At the end I didn't really care what happened to anyone. And a surprise "I knew it all along" ending didn't help things at all.

I know Ringworld has it's fan base - there have been three sequels, games, and movies in production forever, but my response to the wonders of the alien construct is lukewarm at best, and definitely not something I'll be pursuing anytime soon.

Meme, with Relish

I do so enjoy dropping by The Cubicle Reverend's little plot of the 'Net; his writing is fresh, approachable and always completely sincere (something I strive for in my own writing). And he consistently manages to make me take a few revolutions 'round the old Thinking Tree. His most recent post is a book meme that, by reading, has enveloped me in its snare:

BOOK MEME
 

1. One Book That Changed Your Life:
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien - This could have easily been any number of books, but the fact remains that The Hobbit was the first "big person's" book I remember reading as a child. In it are a thousands strands of memories tied to my father and how our love of this book shaped and anchored a rocky relationship for over 25 years. I still have the version my father gave me all those years ago, and it will be the first book I give to my son when he's old enough to understand the role books can play in our lives.

2. One Book You Have to Read More Than Once:
Dandelion Wine/The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury - Calendars be damned; the "official" start of Autumn is October 1st in my opinion. And every year until very recently I celebrated the onset of my favorite month by reading both great works by Ray Bradbury: one a fond remembrance of what Summer means to one young boy, the other a wonderful dose of magic and childhood detailing the meaning of Halloween around the world. The perfect way to usher in the new season while bidding adieu to the old.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island:
The Complete Works of Shakespeare by William Shakespeare - Unless it's possible to have the complete Harvard Classics in one volume, I'll take the Bard each and every time this question is asked. Of course, that's just one of many books I'd like to have on that island!

4. Two Books That Made You Laugh:
The Sword of Samurai Cat by Mark E. Rogers and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - Both books have the same crazy type of laugh out loud humor, and since everyone and their uncle know the classic Douglas Adams book, let me take a brief moment to extol the virtues of the wonderful Samurai Cat series. At once a slapstick action comedy and a satire of all things that make us human, Samurai Cat leaves no event intact, whether it's retelling WWII with dinosours as Nazis or inserting a Zeno's Paradox joke in an Indiana Jones parody. Plus, every book is lovingly illustrated by the author. What Hitchhiker's was to me in high school, Samurai Cat was to me in college.

5. One Book That Made You Cry:
A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving - The other day new co-blogger Jason and I made a list of the greatest living American authors, and John Irving holds an irrefutable spot on that list. A Prayer for Owen Meany is my (and almost everyone else's) favorite Irving book, and one of my most vivid memories is having my wife walk into the living room of our Las Vegas suite (a story unto itself) and finding me bawling on the couch as I read through the last few pages of this great novel.

6. One Book You Wish You'd Written:
If On A Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino - My introduction to Calvino, and the book that opened my eyes to a entire world of modern, inquisitive and challenging literature that had been eluding me for years. Extra special thanks to Jason for introducing me to so many new authors. One day the story must be told of how I first came to his notice, lugging the 1000+ page Infinite Jest on my lunch break while we both toiled in retail during and after college.

uh, on second thought, I think that's the whole story...

7. One Book You Wish Was NEVER Written:
Titus Gamble by Peter Gentry - I wish I could find the cover of this book - you'd understand completely when I tell you that this book was the cause of shall we say a delicate and embarrassing situation early in my adolescence. Beware all books where the word "throbbing" averages 2-3 instances a page.

8. Two Books You Are Currently Reading:
Ringworld by Larry Niven and Segalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal by Vern - One is the 1970 Hugo and Nebula winner for Best Novel. One isn't. You decide.

9. One Book You've Been Meaning to Read:
Volumes II-VI of In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust - Volume I was incredible and unequivocally a work of genius. My brain couldn't take another 1,500 pages right away. But I'll get there, honest!

If you love books, consider yourself tagged. Link your post in the comments below. Huzzah!

Meme, With Relish

I do so enjoy dropping by The Cubicle Reverend's little plot of the 'Net; his writing is fresh, approachable and always completely sincere (something I strive for in my own writing). And he consistently manages to make me take a few revolutions 'round the old Thinking Tree. His most recent post is a book meme that, by reading, has enveloped me in its snare:

BOOK MEME

1. One Book That Changed Your Life:
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien - This could have easily been any number of books, but the fact remains that The Hobbit was the first "big person's" book I remember reading as a child. In it are a thousands strands of memories tied to my father and how our love of this book shaped and anchored a rocky relationship for over 25 years. I still have the version my father gave me all those years ago, and it will be the first book I give to my son when he's old enough to understand the role books can play in our lives.

2. One Book You Have to Read More Than Once:
Dandelion Wine/The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury - Calendars be damned; the "official" start of Autumn is October 1st in my opinion. And every year until very recently I celebrated the onset of my favorite month by reading both great works by Ray Bradbury: one a fond remembrance of what Summer means to one young boy, the other a wonderful dose of magic and childhood detailing the meaning of Halloween around the world. The perfect way to usher in the new season while bidding adieu to the old.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island:
The Complete Works of Shakespeare by William Shakespeare - Unless it's possible to have the complete Harvard Classics in one volume, I'll take the Bard each and every time this question is asked. Of course, that's just one of many books I'd like to have on that island!

4. Two Books That Made You Laugh:
The Sword of Samurai Cat by Mark E. Rogers and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - Both books have the same crazy type of laugh out loud humor, and since everyone and their uncle know the classic Douglas Adams book, let me take a brief moment to extol the virtues of the wonderful Samurai Cat series. At once a slapstick action comedy and a satire of all things that make us human, Samurai Cat leaves no event intact, whether it's retelling WWII with dinosours as Nazis or inserting a Zeno's Paradox joke in an Indiana Jones parody. Plus, every book is lovingly illustrated by the author. What Hitchhiker's was to me in high school, Samurai Cat was to me in college.

5. One Book That Made You Cry:
A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving - The other day new co-blogger Jason and I made a list of the greatest living American authors, and John Irving holds an irrefutable spot on that list. A Prayer for Owen Meany is my (and almost everyone else's) favorite Irving book, and one of my most vivid memories is having my wife walk into the living room of our Las Vegas suite (a story unto itself) and finding me bawling on the couch as I read through the last few pages of this great novel.

6. One Book You Wish You'd Written:
If On A Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino - My introduction to Calvino, and the book that opened my eyes to a entire world of modern, inquisitive and challenging literature that had been eluding me for years. Extra special thanks to Jason for introducing me to so many new authors. One day the story must be told of how I first came to his notice, lugging the 1000+ page Infinite Jest on my lunch break while we both toiled in retail during and after college.

uh, on second thought, I think that's the whole story...

7. One Book You Wish Was NEVER Written:
Titus Gamble by Peter Gentry - I wish I could find the cover of this book - you'd understand completely when I tell you that this book was the cause of shall we say a delicate and embarrassing situation early in my adolescence. Beware all books where the word "throbbing" averages 2-3 instances a page.

8. Two Books You Are Currently Reading:
Ringworld by Larry Niven and Segalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal by Vern - One is the 1970 Hugo and Nebula winner for Best Novel. One isn't. You decide.

9. One Book You've Been Meaning to Read:
Volumes II-VI of In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust - Volume I was incredible and unequivocally a work of genius. My brain couldn't take another 1,500 pages right away. But I'll get there, honest!

If you love books, consider yourself tagged. Link your post in the comments below. Huzzah!